Every runner wants their running programme to go perfectly as they commit themselves to achieve their goals.
I have only just started my training for NY and to be honest it all went wrong before it even started. Part of me didn't even want to write this blog as I felt a failure. My self confidence was at an all time low and I needed to break through my negative thinking.
Somehow it seemed that I was running someone else's race. I was running to gain approval from others. My identity was about what others thought of me, rather than my opinion of myself. I was advised to write about it, as if I was going through this hole, surely others must have experienced it as well.
Since The London Marathon I didn't give my body the chance to recover, even with a sprained toe. My body was saying 'No' and my brain was starting to agree.
After the High Wycombe 10k, the following week I was mean't to run the MK half. I got up ready for the race but broke down. I didn't want to run. I just wanted to cry and sleep. So that's what I did. I took the following week off running and went home to Devon to spend time with the family. I had a fun week which helped to re-charge my batteries.
I returned home rested, ready and positive to start training so prepared a fresh training plan and got myself back to the running club. I went speed training, cross country running (which I'm loving at the moment as it makes me feel so free), took long runs alone and attended my gym classes which are a big part of my fitness training.
One really interesting experience that I had last weekend was to look at running from a completely different angle. Our club was having their 10k race and I was asked to help marshal. This helped make me feel part of something much bigger and it was also great to see a friend of mine, Lee, run his first race finishing in 45.11 raising the bar for Graham and myself. Thank you Lee!!
It was magical to watch a race, to watch other people accomplish something real, and to feel their energy and passion. For the first time in my life I was really getting excited for other people, which in turn motivated me. Helping others turned around into helping me.... wow!
So now I feel back on track. I have only 12 weeks until I'm in the Big Apple to experience one of the world's greatest marathons.... and you know what? I can't wait!!!